Bullying is a serious problem, especially since it travels from schools to the workplace. Older people know they will survive trauma, for the most part, and can adopt the attitude that "this too shall pass." Adults can walk with their feet and get another job unless jobs are too hard to find. Children and teens don't necessarily know they will survive. They really don't. They kill themselves to escape the intense pain of rejection, abandonment, and their sense of worthlessness.

It is everybody's responsibility. Parents should know what their kids are doing and teachers and administrators should know what is going on in the halls. If you blame it on the schools or blame on the parents you are missing the point. It is individual responsibility. Children reflect the homes and communities they are raised in and yes it is learned behavior.

Organized hate in the form of Westboro Baptist "church" and individuals who promulgate the "god hates fags" interpretation of the Scriptures need to be called out or we will all ultimately become their victims and kids like Kenneth Weishuhn will have died in vain.

Teaching children at a young age to not stand by while someone is being hurt verbally and/or physically. The young boy who has organized a club to educate others about bullying is a good start.

We have to examine ourselves and how we treat each other in this society. When we live in a culture that tolerants and even promotes toxic behviour between ourselves we ALL lose including our children.

I just heard an NPR report that children with autism disagnoses are more likely to be bullied. Autistic children, children with special needs, kids who have just come out as gay are obvious targets. School administrators, school counselors and parents should make extra efforts to know what is going on with these kids. That would be a start.

This is definitely something that is taught to these kids at home. That's where it has to start. If you can't get the parents to be part of the solution, then turn it over to the police. I love the comment about punishing the parents. It is unfortunate, but a lot of parents need to be held responsible for their actions as parents. I see way to many parents taking care of themselves, and not taking the responsibility of being a parent seriously. People need to take responsibility, and teach their kids to do the same.

I think the schools tend to come at this problem from the wrong angle. Anti-bullying programs are ultimately designed to indoctrinate the kids into a given set of values – basically, to tell them what to think and how to behave. But by taking that approach, they just end up modeling the kind of interpersonal bossiness they want to discourage. Moreover, any attempt to tell kids what to think is bound to generate resistance. I think a better approach would be to treat the kids as moral agents who are capable of thinking for themselves about right and wrong, and to regularly get them talking about ethical choices, without dictating right and wrong answers. By trying to engage, rather than control, the kids, that approach would model a more respectful way of interacting with people.

Unfortunately, our school system is now so focused on behavior management that it’s modeling its own kind of intolerance of difference. There is a constant emphasis on complying with “expectations,” which just sends the message that there is something wrong with acting in “unexpected” ways. Last year, kids at our school were even given a worksheet titled “What Do People Expect?” on which they were asked to write about how people react when you behave as expected, and how they react when you behave “in a way that is surprising to them (unexpected).” The clear message was that there is something wrong with people who are “different” or “surprising,” or who don’t conform to social expectations. It’s hard to teach tolerance and conformity at the same time. The more the schools micromanage the kids’ behavior, the less surprised we can be if the kids try to micromanage each other’s behavior.

I wonder, too, how many gay and lesbian teachers, even here in Iowa City, would feel free to mention their husbands and wives in the same way that straight teachers sometimes do.

Sorry for the multiple comments. More thoughts here:

http://ablogaboutschool.blogspot.com/2011/08/choices.html

There are bullies and there are victims but the one part often missed is the role of the bystanders---folks who see the bullying and stay silently in the background. We need to increase awareness of how if more bystanders stood up and spoke out we'd see bullies backing down and victims feeling more like their peers support them---just as they are.

How about the ease that Facebook, Twitter and text messaging give to kids who want to strike out at others? Should parents routinely check their kids' phones and computers to make sure they aren't acting in ways that are inappropriate?

This poll should allow for multiple answers. There isn't one solution.